But I’m going to try…
Once upon a time, I was driving Kevin’s car. Not sure why, but he had my car and I had his Lincoln Navigator. It had 3 rows of seats and sat 7 or 9 people. While driving the car, the entire dashboard lit up. As they say, “like a Christmas tree”. I knew something was drastically wrong. #Smart #Savvy I was really close to the car dealer, so I drove the car right to the dealer…after consulting Kevin who said, drive it straight to the dealer since you are “super close”. After a 20-minute wait, they indicated there was some engine trouble, but since the car was less than a year old, they’d give us a free loaner till the car was repaired. Nice, so I would not be further inconvenienced.
This is what I envisioned as the loaner car. Terry swagging with her new wheels.
Not so much. This is what showed up.
Just kidding. This is what showed up. A Ford Escort. With manual windows. Now, I have nothing against Ford Escorts (God rest their soul, as I’m not so sure they’re still around. Oops, I hear they are. So good for them). I have nothing against manual windows. Nor Ford Escorts. I just don’t think this is an appropriate rental for an SUV. An SUV with three rows of seats and electric windows. The Ford Escort could hold 4 people at best. Four people with the strength to unroll their own windows.
The next day, I happened to be out with my friends for a lunch and was explaining my plight. They did not understand where I was coming from. I indicated I just don’t think a Ford Escort with manual windows was an appropriate rental for a Lincoln Navigator. They took it a step further and made me the butt of all the jokes:
Poor Terry…what’s she going to do while going through the toll booth? She’s going to have to actually roll down her window. Manually. Without the press of a button. Horror!
There she goes, with her blonde hair blowing through the wind, after manually opening her window.
What if people actually saw her driving this car? What would people think? Poor, poor Terry!
I was not pleased. Why did no one understand this injustice? Why were they taunting me? Was I being unreasonable? Not for a moment. Was I being ridiculous? No way. Was I being arrogant? Puhlease… NEVER!
I called my brother Mark, who as a “car guy” would certainly take pity on me. He’d understand. I told him my jewelry I was wearing (not owned, but actually wearing) cost more than the car. Perhaps that was a bit on an exaggeration. Well, not really my jewelry really did cost more than this “car”. Mark wasn’t as sympathetic as I was hoping. Who was going to stand by me?
Hindsight, being 20/20 (and isn’t it always?)… Perhaps I took this a bit personally. I still sensed a large injustice. Sadly, I was alone in my plight. Thankfully, it was only a few days and we got the Navigator back. Kevin wasn’t nearly as offended, as he was happily tooling around in my car. Did I mention that Kevin had just purchased me a new BMW, and for some reason, he was driving it and I was driving his Navigator? Perhaps this is why this wasn’t settling in well with me. Just an observation, but when your husband buys you a car, it’s typically a car He wants, not one You want. #JustSaying.
Thankfully, I got on with my life. Skipping through life, driving My car, not Kevin’s. My life was back to normal. I could drive down the freeway and open my window with a button and not with brutal strength. If I wanted, I could drive the Navigator and 6 other people. Or 7. More than the total of 4 the Escort would accommodate. My life…was back to normal. The Ford Escort was in my rearview window. Literally and Figuratively.
Unfortunately, my friends had another idea. My birthday was coming up and they had a “Fantastic” idea. A “Hilarious” idea. My super funny friends had decided to rent a Red Ford Escort and put it in my driveway. With a Big Red Bow. With a Sign that read…”Happy Birthday Terry. Love, Kevin”.
Yup. Sadly…or thankfully, I have no pictures. But yes, my dear, sweet friends, put a Red Ford Escort in my driveway, with a huge red bow, with birthday sentiments. Nice. The neighbors could Not believe how generous Kevin was. I didn’t have the heart to tell them the car was Not my gift. A Tiffany necklace and earrings were my gift. Not the sporty little car with manual windows. With a bow. Talk about an injustice. Is life fair?
I’d say you can’t make this sh*t up… But, indeed, these are what we shall refer to as #TerryTales. True story. Why am I sharing these? Because this is DressedtoaT. 😉
Happy weekend. Drive safely. 😉