Funny knows funny… I was recently on a trip (well, several trips) and when I travel I like to take one of my favorite funny books with me, by David Thorne, and, when allowed, I read excerpts to my friends…and I honest to goodness, find most of them so funny, I cannot get through an entire one without snorting (numerous times) and laughing so hard I cannot be understood, plus I’m crying. Truly, best time ever. 🙂 When on the Critical Wedding Weekend (see previous blog post) Steph, Beth and I thoroughly enjoyed David Thorne readings, and we have yet another critical bond…love of David Thorne, funniest guy ever. Nothing makes me happier than when my friends find what I find also funny. I mean, funny knows funny.
When I was with another group of BFFs, for an afternoon of fun and frolicking and I brought along David Thorne, to entertain the troops, I do not believe this group found him nearly as funny as Stephanie and Beth…When my Critical Friends asked how my other friends enjoyed David Thorne, I said, “sadly, probably not as much as we did”…And Stephanie, not understanding, said, “did They read it? Did You read it to them? Did you read the story about the spider. What about the cat?”…and Beth interceded…”That is wicked funny.”…Yes it is, and my afternoon gals, did indeed find it funny, but we weren’t peppered up on 3 bottles of Veuve Cliquot as Beth, Steph and I were, so that may indeed have been the difference. But they’ve assured me they found it funny. Funny knows funny. Plus, Not finding David Thorne funny, is a deal breaker in being one of my BFFs. 🙂
I present to you, David Thorne, and The Spider…and keep reading (LAP), because the funniest part of this blog is after this excert!
Enjoy!!
This is one of the excerpts we were reading…
Dear Jane, I do not have any money so am sending you this drawing I did of a spider instead.
I read recently of a ‘qualified’ chiropractor that has been using distance healing for quite some time, claiming he can heal you from his living room. There’s no need to visit his office, just call or write and he will do the rest. Apparently he discovered his special chiropractic skill while he was in his car; his foot hurt and he told it to realign itself. I did not make this up.
Become a fully qualified Chiropractor:
Successful completion of this test qualifies you to practice as a professional medical chiropractor.
Question 1
Locate the spine in the following picture:
A B C
Date: Wednesday 8 Oct 2008 12.19pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Overdue accountDear David,
Our records indicate that your account is overdue by the amount of $233.95. If you have already made this payment please contact us within the next 7 days to confirm payment has been applied to your account and is no longer outstanding.
Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles
From: David Thorne
Date: Wednesday 8 Oct 2008 12.37pm
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Overdue account
Dear Jane,
I do not have any money so am sending you this drawing I did of a spider instead. I value the drawing at $233.95 so trust that this settles the matter.
Regards, David.
From: Jane Gilles
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 10.07am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Overdue account
Dear David,
Thank you for contacting us. Unfortunately we are unable to accept drawings as payment and your account remains in arrears of $233.95. Please contact us within the next 7 days to confirm payment has been applied to your account and is no longer outstanding.
Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles
From: David Thorne
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 10.32am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Overdue account
Dear Jane,
Can I have my drawing of a spider back then please.
Regards, David.
From: Jane Gilles
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 11.42am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Overdue account
Dear David,
You emailed the drawing to me. Do you want me to email it back to you?
Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles
From: David Thorne
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 11.56am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Overdue account
Dear Jane,
Yes please.
Regards, David.
From: Jane Gilles
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 12.14pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Overdue account
Attached <spider.gif>
From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 09.22am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Whose spider is that?
Dear Jane,
Are you sure this drawing of a spider is the one I sent you? This spider only has seven legs and I do not feel I would have made such an elementary mistake when I drew it.
Regards, David.
From: Jane Gilles
Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 11.03am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Whose spider is that?
Dear David,
Yes it is the same drawing. I copied and pasted it from the email you sent me on the 8th. David your account is still overdue by the amount of $233.95.
Please make this payment as soon as possible.
Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles
From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 11.05am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Automated Out of Office Response
Thankyou for contacting me.
I am currently away on leave, traveling through time and will be returning last week.
Regards, David.
From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 11.08am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Re: Whose spider is that?
Hello, I am back and have read through your emails and accept that despite missing a leg, that drawing of a spider may indeed be the one I sent you. I realise with hindsight that it is possible you rejected the drawing of a spider due to this obvious limb ommission but did not point it out in an effort to avoid hurting my feelings. As such, I am sending you a revised drawing with the correct number of legs as full payment for any amount outstanding. I trust this will bring the matter to a conclusion.
Regards, David.
From: Jane Gilles
Date: Monday 13 Oct 2008 2.51pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Whose spider is that?
Dear David,
As I have stated, we do not accept drawings in lei of money for accounts outstanding. We accept cheque, bank cheque, money order or cash. Please make a payment this week to avoid incurring any additional fees.
Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles
From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 13 Oct 2008 3.17pm
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Whose spider is that?
I understand and will definitely make a payment this week if I remember. As you have not accepted my second drawing as payment, please return the drawing to me as soon as possible. It was silly of me to assume I could provide you with something of completely no value whatsoever, waste your time and then attach such a large amount to it.
Regards, David.
From: Jane Gilles
Date: Tuesday 14 Oct 2008 11.18am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Whose spider is that?
Attached <spider2.gif>
The Internet is a Playground, by David Thorne. And his new book: I’ll go home then; it’s was and has chairs!
Both are must reads!!
And Funny knows Funny!
So…Imagine, my absolute delight, and total amusement, when I opened an envelope from Stephanie, who owed me some money, and this is what was inside:
Stephanie, who happens to be a “real dentist”, drew a picture of this fabulous tooth, and valued it at $178, which is Precisely the amount she owes me!! I do believe I laughed for a good hour. Funny knows funny!!
Well played, Stephanie! Well played! But you still owe me $178. 🙂
Things that also make me laugh..I mean, LOL, tears streaming down my face, laughing so hard, I can’t speak, nor breathe.
1. John Pinette – Show me the Buffet
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w2mTX09cTHg
2. Paula Poundstone – any of her stand-up performances…but especially the one in which she discusses Pop Tarts.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VLLP1Wtrg0U
3. Arrested Development – best to buy each season, and watch a season in an entire evening…I have made Kev, Mer Mer and Paddy believers as well!
4. Modern Family – I like to gift entire seasons of this hilarious show to my friends.
5. The Movie, Bridesmaids – I have probably seen this 10 times and laugh each time as hard as I did the first.
6. This record of tweets and notes to and from a passenger on a flight on Thanksgiving Day to PHX, is really hilarious… it did get a bit raunchy at the end (shame of you Elan), but “Diane” was really out of line, and has no sense of humor. Chill out Diane! And Elan, you need your mouth washed out with soap, but this really did make me laugh. I am not sure if this is actually “real”, but funny nonetheless! And yes, you need to click on this link!
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/11/29/annoying-airplane-passenger_n_4360667.html
The first 5 comments made on this blog, which truly make me LOL, will receive a copy of David Thorne’s book! Kim B…this contest if for you, as you can see, I do aim to please!
Song of the Day – Best Day of My Life, by American Authors
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wutzv7JjX7k
And to those in my life, who Always make me laugh…laugh till I snort: Stephanie; Beth; Kathy; Tracy; Peggy; Steve; Mark B.; Bruce; and Leslie…Thank you for all the laughs! And each of my siblings, of course…though most of that is at my own expense!
May today and each day be one of your Best. Days. Ever. And may each day you find something or someone that truly make you laugh!
xoxo,
T.
Related articles
- Critical Wedding Weekend (dressedtoat.wordpress.com)
I should be working on ‘real’ teeth right now at my office but I’m laughing so hard that I can hardly see….always a great way to start the day. Also, your ‘real’ payment is legit in the mail….and I can’t wait to get my copy of David Thorne’s book. Funny absolutely knows funny…..write that down!
xoxo
Funny knows funny…and how about You, the “real dentist” being the inspiration for today’s blog? I’m still laughing at the picture…
xo
Hilarious blog today, TOB! And, I am honored to have been with you the first time you saw Bridesmaids! I remember hoping not to spoil it for you since I had already seen it and started laughing before some of the gags played! Obviously I did not have to worry,
Ah yes, Miss Olson…we did have many, many laughs watching Bridesmaids…and you did not give anything away. Loved it!!
Yes, please. I will take a copy of the book!! Love Bridesmaids!!!!!!!! I remember when you e-mailed me about the David Thorne Kit Kat incident. You were laughing so hard explaining it that I could not understand a WORD you were saying!!!
Megan, that was like 4 years ago! Yes, you deserve a break today… still makes me howl! And a book you shall have!
Hello Terry, I love your blog!! You have a great sense of humor and a way with words. Also, the pics are totes amazeballs, lol. I would like a copy of the David Thorne book. You can send it to Megan and she can bring it to work. Thanks a bunch!!
Rochelle, Megan tells me how you enjoy my blog, and I’m tickled pink! And pleased to give you a book as well! 🙂
OH, so nice! I have not read any David Thorne before, but you know I LOVE funny. Going to add these to my Amazon wish list right now!! And I once de-friended someone on Facebook for questioning me when I said I didn’t want to live in a world where “Arrested Development” gets cancelled and “Two and A Half Men” just keeps going and going.
Trac – guess what we’ll be doing at lunch on Friday? Yup… reading David Thorne! 🙂
Great blog today, T . . . and I actually did LOL at the end of the story. Doctor Stephanie truly has tooth artistry talent!
You aren’t the only one who doesn’t read to the end of my blog…some of my friends don’t read to the end of my emails! But you are a loyal follower, and for that, you get a book! 🙂
Thank you oh beautiful Terry, reading your blog today made me LOL! I especially liked Paula Poundstone’s story about the cinnamon. I, too, almost had a food death, mine was in Costco sampling sushi a couple of years ago. Bottom line, the optional wasabi paste they offer on the side is NOT cut with mayonnaise, it’s the real stuff. Do not eat an entire teaspoonful at one time. I literally had to hold onto my cart fighting for my dear life. Wouldn’t you think the lady in the hairnet handling out the samples could have warned me? Thank you and Paula for allowing this memory to resurface! Consider this a public service announcement, you are welcome.
Kim B – you get a book, for the pure fact today you told me I look young…and referred to me as “oh beautiful Terry”. Will you marry me? 🙂 I’ll run over your book this week…I don’t want to keep you waiting. 🙂
and your comments, were/are Hilarious! Well done!
One more thing:
I think we should have a party with a contest! We can read our funniest quotes, mine would include some from Tina Fey’s Bossypants. I really like her prayer for her daughter:
First, Lord: No tattoos. May neither the Chinese symbol for truth nor Winnie-the-Pooh holding the FSU logo stain her tender haunches.
When the Crystal Meth is offered, may she remember the parents who cut her grapes in half and stick with beer.
Guide her and protect her when crossing the street, stepping onto boats, swimming in the ocean, swimming in pools, walking near pools, standing on the subway platform, crossing 86th Street, stepping off of boats, using mall restrooms, getting on and off escalators, driving on country roads while arguing, leaning on large windows, walking in parking lots, riding ferris wheels, roller-coasters, log flumes, or anything called “Hell Drop,” “Tower of Torture,” or “The Death Spiral Rock ‘N Zero G Roll featuring Aerosmith,” and standing on any kind of balcony ever, anywhere, at any age.