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Jay Cutler needs a Life Coach…Part Deux!

9 Sep

Apparently I am not the only person who has written that Jay Cutler Needs a life coach.  It would appear that Rick Telander, columnist for the Chicago Sun Times and I feel the same way…and according to Mr. Telander, he feels Mr. Cutler may have already consulted with one!  Here is an excerpt from Mr. Telander’s column:

After watching the Bears-Bills preseason game I am left with the impression that Jay Cutler must have found a life coach in Beverly Hills and employed him for a makeover.

 The Bears quarterback is lean, his double chin is only 1 1/4 chins, and most of all, he seems to have developed personal skills.He patted teammates on the back. He talked to somebody up in the press box on his head set. He made small chatter with Brian Urlacher.

He acted as if he cared . Maybe he doesn’t, and it’s all an act. But that unfortunate image of him as blase malingerer in the NFC title game last winter is one that he needs to shatter to pieces.Maybe a life coach explained that to him. Or maybe life itself is doing the trick. Whatever, Cutler’s mental and physical fitness are so important to the Bears’ future that it was comforting to see this small step. Even if the sacks have started again.

Source:  Sun Times:  http://www.suntimes.com/sports/telander/7040957-452/hall-of-famers-winter-gilmore-mullin-rodman-evoke-fond-memories.html

Of course I’m not insinuating that Mr. Cutler took my advice and hired a life coach, but perhaps getting sacked so many times has knocked some sense into his head.  And I’m not saying that Mr. Telander read my blog, then further elaborated on it, however I’m also not dismissing that fact.  “Jay Cutler needs a life coach” remains the most read post on my blog…and shocking as it may seem, it is beating “What a girl packs for college”, “Who’s your Paddy”, as well as “How to Not look old”.

As mentioned in previous blogs (twice),  I am not saying my life is perfect, so I may not be qualified, per se, to be Mr. Cutler’s Life Coach…but, what the heck,  I’m going to take a stab at it. 

What Jay Cutler Should Consider Changing in his Life:   (in My Humble Opinion)

1.  Smile.  For Pete’s Sakes, you have a $49M contract, and you can’t smile?  You are a quarterback for the Chicago Bears, and you can’t smile?  You get to play in the best sport’s city in the world, and you can’t smile?   Do you know how hard I had to peruse Google searching for a picture of you smiling?  Show off what you bought and which Pam Oliver brought to everyone’s attention when she gushed over your new teeth.  “Fox’s Oliver, ending her post game interview with Bears quarterback Jay Cutler  “Pretty teeth, by the way.”  Whether athletes like it or not, they are role models when it comes to flossing .”

2.  Wear a suit for your post game interviews.  That plaid lumberjack shirt you wore last year was an embarrassment.  You make a decent living,  buy a nice suit.  Oh, and buy one that fits.  And feather in some Blue and Orange ties.  Wear a Dark Navy Suit, white shirt, Orange Tie.  That would be a nice touch.  I believe when Jay was televised wearing this shirt, the announcer even commented, “based on his choice of shirt, perhaps he didn’t realize he’d be on tv?”  Really bad shirt.  Wear a suit.

3.  Give back to the community.  Work with the underprivileged…Attend Charity Events.  Get involved in the community where you work.  It will humble you to see how very fortunate you are, and make you feel good about yourself, and what you can do to help others. You are a role model, whether you like it or not…being a role model to children is a privilege, act like it.

4.  Go to a Chicago Hot Spot after every home game – May I suggest Gibson’s (or Shaw’s, as “there’s lots”  going on there, or Joe’s Stone Crab)…and bring your Offensive Line, and buy them a Huge Steak and lots of Stella Artois (or Crab Legs if you go to Shaw’s).  With a $49M contract you can splurge and buy everyone Chimay Ale ($141.99/case at Binny’s,and you can afford it).  Whether you win or lose, take your Offensive Line out to dinner, or a post-game snack.  Hob nob with the patrons in the restaurant.  Give autographs (only when asked, as offering them when someone doesn’t ask, could be considered poor form).  Trust me, you’ll end up with your own little groupies, and they’ll all start to buy your Jersey.  Wouldn’t it be nice to see Cutler jersey’s outnumber Urlacher jerseys?  Send your linemen home in a limo, so they don’t get pulled over for a DUI…that would undo all the good you are doing if they drove under the influence.   Show them you care, so they Block for you.  Jim McMahon was famous for buying his OL Rolex watches…The Punky QB had a good plan.  The punky QB won a Superbowl.

5.  Don’t date a Hollywood “Reality/Starlet“.  Puhlease.  Date a hometown Chicago Gal.  Midwest girls are the best in the land.  Raised with high morals and standards.  Your mother will be pleased.  A lot of people will be pleased.

6.  Polish up on some “duck wants into a bar” jokes.  Take it from me, People Love them! 🙂

7.  Buy a Chicago home…a nice one. ( I believe he has been renting a home in Lake Forest).  You have a $49M contract, buy a home.  Show us you are here to stay.

8.   Act like you care, and Chicago will care about you.  The City wants to love you!

9.  Polish up on your interviewing techniques…learn the gift of banter and fodder.  When you make a mistake, own up to it…”I had a horrible game…if I were you, I’d also be grilling me…but I’m gonna take it.  Bring it on.  We are going to work even harder this week”.    Indicate how lucky you are to play in Chicago,  you Love the Bears, you Love  the city,  and you Love the game.  If you say it enough, people may actually believe you.

10.  Butkus, Sayers, Payton, Singletary,  Harris (Al made me say this…actually he didn’t, I just adore him and his family)…Chicago Bears Legends.  Not only did they have superb athletic ability, they played with Heart, they played with Soul and are Solid Great Men (of course phenomenal talent as well).  You still see people sporting their jerseys out and about, and not just at Bears games.  Don’t you want to be amongst this illustrious group of Bear’s players?  You have the talent to be a Hall of Famer.  Don’t you want to join Brian Urlacher in the Next Generation of Bears Legends?  You have the talent.  Now you just need the heart.   I can see it now…Jay Cutler…Hall of Fame class 2025. 🙂

I would like the record to reflect that I happen to be a huge fan of Jay Cutler’s.  I just am getting sick and tired of explaining why I am, so if he would take these suggestions, it would make my life easier…as well as his.  I like Jay Cutler, and hope he’s here to stay!

Are you ready for some football?  I am!  Bring on the Falcons!

Go Bears!

xoxo,

T.

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20 Responses to “Jay Cutler needs a Life Coach…Part Deux!”

  1. Carol S. September 9, 2011 at 6:56 am #

    I feel like I know Jay Cutler a little better thanks to this blog! I love that this topic gets the most hits for you. Guys show up to find out about Jay Cutler and get sucked into finding out about the latest fashion trends and great shoes. Terry, you got it all. I AM ready for some football.

    • Dressed to a T September 11, 2011 at 8:02 pm #

      Thanks Carol – and celebrating that high of today’s victory…and Mr. Cutler smiling. A good day…a very good day, indeed! xoxo

  2. Phyllis September 9, 2011 at 8:21 am #

    Amen sister!!! It’s about time you took a tougher tactic with Mr. Cutler. As I sit here in my office on Friday morning, in my Walter Payton jersey, having organized the office-wide Bears season kick-off party that will take place at noon starting with some fab Lou Malnatti’s pizza, I still can’t open my heart to Jay. I agree, he showed some glimmers of actual enthusiasm in pre-season, but were they authentic?

    Why do I feel like JC is the type of guy women pick-up just before “last call” because they resign themselves to think that he is not so bad. “Hey, he’s not that bad looking, he has good hands and large feet, etc.” Only to find out that they would have been better off just leaving the bar alone and heading to White Castle for what, in the end, would leave them with the same feeling….an upset stomach.

    • Dressed to a T September 11, 2011 at 8:03 pm #

      Now Phyl – after today, I’m sure your heart has warmed a tad bit up to Jay? White Castle? OK…that was the best comment…EVER! xo

  3. C September 9, 2011 at 8:37 am #

    HA! Great blog. Are you going to call Rick Telander on his plagiarism?

    • Dressed to a T September 11, 2011 at 8:05 pm #

      C – Mr. Telander is welcome to use my blog as material for his Sun Times column. I think he has excellent taste!

    • Dressed to a T September 11, 2011 at 8:05 pm #

      Oh, and God Bless America!

  4. Megan Resler September 9, 2011 at 9:14 am #

    Excellent blog! If only he would listen… but alas, I feel he is doomed to be a sour puss for life!

    • Dressed to a T September 11, 2011 at 8:06 pm #

      Meg – rumor has it he was actually Smiling today (as seen on TV). I’m thinking a follow up blog is in order! Go Bears!!

  5. kathy p September 9, 2011 at 9:26 am #

    Terry O…As always..spot on!! If only Jay would listen!!! Does anyone else but me think he has a hint of “Elvis” in his eyes?? And of course, if Jay would like to buy a home in Chicago, I hereby offer my services! Best known for confidentiality, which would be important to him, and for finding really cool homes anywhere and everywhere.

    kathy p
    aka…realtor to the stars!

    • Dressed to a T September 11, 2011 at 8:07 pm #

      Kathy P – Yes, you can certainly be his realtor to the Stars…and after today’s performance, he is a Star (on the field of course).
      Terry O
      aka…Life coach to the stars!

  6. Kim September 9, 2011 at 10:00 am #

    Don’t sell yourself short, you’d make an excellent life coach! JC should consider himself lucky such a loyal season ticket holder thinks he is valuable enough to dedicate not one but 2 blog topics to his best interest.
    I have been on the JC bandwagon since he arrived in ORD have no plan to jump off anytime soon. You know I consider a jersey a fashion don’t for women, the linebacker look just doesn’t do it for me; however, I may even be inclined to sport a #6 T-shirt in the privacy of my own home! Now if the OL will protect our guy in the pocket, we may see a big improvement…it takes a village people and a fabulous Life Coach like TOB! Go Bears!!!

    • Dressed to a T September 11, 2011 at 8:08 pm #

      Amen Kim! I also am thinking of buying something Cutler…to wear. Not a hat however, like the floppy one from pre-season, as a hat is an all day decision!

  7. Stephanie September 9, 2011 at 4:28 pm #

    You forgot one….hang out with Aaron Rodgers more often! 🙂

    • Dressed to a T September 11, 2011 at 8:08 pm #

      Yes Stephanie…Aaron Rodgers is also a good guy…if Only he wasn’t playing for the Packers! xoxo

  8. Lisa September 9, 2011 at 8:55 pm #

    Right on T……you couldn’t have said it any better than this. I hope Jay takes a que from you! Go Bears!

    • Dressed to a T September 11, 2011 at 8:09 pm #

      Mrs. Sykes – it appears Mr. Cutler has been reading my little blog…He most certainly was smiling today!
      Go Bears!

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

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    […] Jay Cutler needs a Life Coach…Part Deux! (dressedtoat.wordpress.com) […]

  2. An Open Letter to the NFL, and Mr. Roger Goodell « DRESSED TO A T - October 3, 2011

    […] https://dressedtoat.wordpress.com/2011/09/09/jay-cutler-needs-a-life-coach-part-deux/ Share this:TwitterFacebookLike this:LikeBe the first to like this post. […]

  3. Jay Cutler among the Least-Liked athletes in all of sports? Shocking. « DRESSED TO A T - February 8, 2013

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