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Did I handle myself “stylishly”?

25 Aug

I love the movie Breakfast at Tiffany’s.  One of my favorite lines is when George Peppard is breaking up with his “lady friend”, Patricia Neal …and he says, “Can’t we handle this stylishly?”.   Many times in travelling down the path of life  and something difficult or uncomfortable occurs, I think of how I’m handling the situation.  My mother used to say, “It’s not what happens to you in life which defines you…It’s how you handle it”.  I know she didn’t make it up but I shall credit her with this for now.

I was part of an important life passage for my daughter this week and I wonder from her perspective how I handled it…well, at least the last few hours of it.  We  dropped  her off at Indiana University this weekend.  As some people are aware, there were quite a few clothing items that we brought down in 2, yes 2 cars.  I’m now certain that a Big 10 school means 10 square feet of living space in the dorm.  But, suffice to say, it all fit.  It took effort  but it fit…and we only had to bring home a few items…and not because they didn’t fit but because she didn’t like them. 🙂

I have dreamed of the day when I would have to say good-bye to Meredith.  Dreaded is actually a better term.  It has loomed over my head for 18 1/2 years…and the day was here.  We got everything moved into her room, and the inevitable of having to leave came upon us.  I was really doing well, and when my husband said we should leave, I was feeling rather confident that I would not break down.  I thought for 18+ years, I’ve dreamt of making a scene in her dorm room, and I was about to make a clean getaway.   What a stroke of great Irish luck! 

How wrong I was… I cried.  But…I did Not sob uncontrollably, which is a huge plus  and as we said our goodbyes in her room, I realized I was so happy for her.  She is going to a Big 10 University…and living her dream.  What an amazing gift we have given her.    So, did I cry?  Of course…But it wasn’t uncontrollable sobbing  and not altogether horrifying.  Mascara wasn’t running down my face.  I dont’ think I was too terribly blotchy.  Plus, I had my sunglasses on, so no one was the wiser…nor was I wise to every other Mother, and many Fathers who were also wearing their sunglasses in the dorm.   So, I believe I handled myself Stylishly!  🙂   And this is  the story I will tell  and I’m sticking to it…Plus, Meredith has texted and skyped us, so she’s still speaking to me, so I think I handled myself well.  Very well.  And I think Meredith will agree, which is actually most important. 

They say we give our children wings to fly away…I just didn’t realize it meant feeling like I’ve lost one of my own arms.  To all my friends who have gone through this passage in life with their kids…Well done.  We did it.  I am on the other side, and happy to be here.   And I’m still standing…and wearing high heels!   🙂

xoxo

T.

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11 Responses to “Did I handle myself “stylishly”?”

  1. Ann Nell Koktzoglou August 25, 2010 at 11:33 am #

    Wait until she gets married, as my daughter is this Labor Day weekend. Talk about transition!

    • Ann Stetson August 25, 2010 at 12:08 pm #

      I have never ever known you not to handle something stylishly and with great poise, and I have seen you at some pretty unstylish episodes. I am sure you did. We Mothers must suffer our own grief, and do it our way. I immediately, upon returning home, went to her room, and sat and cried. It is all part of the process of letting go and it is the hardest thing to do – let go. Raising a family, with the same husband is unrewarded valor and no child of yours will ever understand until they do it themselves. Meredith has been raised for stardom and that will come. Oh by the way, by the time it is for time for Patrick to leave, you will cry uncontrollably, of course not in his presence, but endulging yourself is not a privilege, it is a right.

    • dressedtoat September 7, 2010 at 1:01 pm #

      I hope the wedding was a Smashing Success!

  2. Carol S. August 25, 2010 at 4:43 pm #

    Hey Terry, CHEERS! You did it. Loved reading about it. Good tip about the glasses in a couple years. So glad you are so happy for her and all your good work has paid off in a beautiful, independent (and still growing) young lady. Beautiful picture of the two of you.

  3. Lisa Sykes August 25, 2010 at 6:08 pm #

    Oh Momma, you are a brave one! Don’t worry Meredith will return home over and over again and one day you will say, are you ever going to get your own place to live! 🙂

    Be strong for her because she will worry about you and she needs to focus and make her way at her Big 10 school. She will spread her wings and fly and you will say, I had something to do with that and be proud of her always!

    xo xo xo

  4. webvizibility August 26, 2010 at 8:07 am #

    Sunglasses a must! What a great feeling seeing a child off to college and knowing that they will do great. Tears of pride 🙂

  5. kathy p August 26, 2010 at 6:12 pm #

    if you can’t go stylishly, then why bother?

  6. Lee Zielinski October 1, 2010 at 7:34 am #

    I just caught up on the blogs, photos are hilarious… my boys have 2 pair of shoes with them, one for tennis and one for everything else!
    When Patrick takes the big step you should be able to do it in one car.
    the difference between girls and guys.

    • dressedtoat October 1, 2010 at 7:38 am #

      I hate to say it, but Patrick is a Shoe Horse!!! Not as much on the clothes, and probably 3 pairs of boxers. 🙂

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